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04 November 2014 @ 07:53 am
Louder Than Silence ××× for sheisjoanne  
Written for: sheisjoanne
: Louder Than Silence
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1505
Summary: Lu Han and Chen become EXO's first subunit. Lu Han is not happy - less people around means more talking in interviews.
Warning/s: Some swearing, mentions of Kris, Luhan leaving. Somewhat distorted timeline.

"What?" Lu Han muttered, casting what he hoped was a discreet look at Jongdae, hoping to gauge an reaction somewhat more outraged from his otherwise politely surprised face.

"A subunit, Jongdae and yourself." Kim Youngmin replied, enunciating each word carefully as if Lu Han hadn't been hanging onto to their CEO's every word in frank disbelief. "In China."

Lu Han eyes widened and his mouth hung agape in what he knew was an overall unattractive look of incredulity.

This was not the good news he'd been expecting when Hyunkyun had abruptly announced that they were expected in Youngmin's office 9 PM sharp, on a cold drizzly night that should have foreshadowed the atrocious news that would be dropped on them.

Youngmin reclined back into his leather chair (since his short statement had clarified everything, obviously), one hand absently ruffling through the many papers littering his expansive desk, other hand tapping with a pen on a notebook page half-covered in a scrawling handwriting of blue and black ballpoint.

"We're projecting the debut for early 2015." He paused, conceding: "But that relies on your own work and diligence."

Words were difficult, which was why Lu Han immediately resorted to action.

He turned to Jongdae, desperately hoping to telepathically let him know that he was close to puking his meager lunch of stale ramen right onto the expensive carpeting of their CEO's office because he was (embarrassingly) absolutely terrified of debuting as one part of a subunit in China where the usually talkative Jongdae would be rendered almost silent and he would have to take the lead of answering generic questions with equally generic, if not more practiced, answers.

He was horrible at pretending to be generic.

Jongdae met his eyes and instead of coming to his defense with a rejection of the horrifying arrangements Youngmin was imposing on them, he mistook his despair for glee and a eye-wrinkling grin broke onto Jongdae's face as he stared back at him unabashed happiness.

He was fucked.

Lu Han should have known drastic actions like this would have been taken eventually. Perhaps the people pulling their strings had been spooked by his sudden departure but they obviously thought that everything would be fixed if he was given "a chance to showcase his talent in his home country."

More specifically, to avoid spawning another Wu Yifan, he was being faced with his worst nightmare.


Which also happened to be a favorite past time of Jongdae's. Especially at 10 PM, when he was trying to politely excuse himself so he can actually get some sleep but Jongdae was always too busy drowning out the TV with his long monologues about his day.

Which Lu Han knew all about since, you know, 99% of their days were spent together.

"Once it starts, like officially starts, it'll be fun, right?" Lu Han nodded passively in agreement, barely acknowledging his Jongdae's incessant chatter. "Just the two of us, you know? We probably won't fuck up that much."

Probably not.

"And it's nice having a dorm to ourselves. I can actually hear myself think in the mornings, you know?" All he can do is stare at Jongdae's moving mouth. Moving. All the fucking time. Doesn't he ever run out of shit to say? Come up with blanks? "Except when the couple down street start yellin' at each other at the crack of dawn. I can never figure out what they're fighting about-"

"Stop." It's almost embarrassing how surprised Jongdae is to hear himself being interrupted. He'd obviously gotten used to having one sided conversations with himself these past five months (Lu Han knew his occasional grunts of agreement hardly counted as an acceptable form of speech). "You talk too much."

An obnoxiously loud laugh was all he got in return. "It's cuz you don't talk. At all. I didn't know you were this boring, hyung. I mean, I always knew you were a bit on the bland side, but God, you're vanilla through and through, aren't you?"


That was insulting, if somewhat true.

Lu Han stared at Jongdae for a brief moment, taking in his all too smug face. "First of all, I am not vanilla or fucking boring. I just don't believe in running my mouth all the time. Like you. You run your mouth about unimportant things and-"

"Oh, you think so?" Jongdae interjects, with a slightly evil glitter in his eyes. "You weren't complaining yesterday when I spent like 20 fucking minutes explaining to that PD that you were not, in fact, as girly as look. Or acted. And considering my amazing Mandarin skills, it was painful for everyone-who-was-not-Luhan. Because, you know, I was pretty much lying out of my ass and they all knew."

Lu Han rolled his eyes, and decided not to point out that it took 20 minutes because of Jongdae's Mandarin (since that's what he liked to call his weird mixture of Korean, random English words and maybe some actual Mandarin) and everyone's confused looks were not in fact because of the mystery surrounding Lu Han's gender

"First of all, I didn't mind, because it was for my benefit and that old geezer was wrong. Besides, that doesn't excuse all the other nonsense that falls out of your mouth."

Jongdae raises his eyebrow curiously, and instead of a catty remark shot back at him, he instead leans in uncomfortably close until Lu Han can smell the soap from his shower. "Oh really?"

"Yes-yes, really."

"Hm." Lu Han didn't like the sound of that. "So should I stop talking? If it bothers you so much, I can stop."

"Fine. Stop talking." The words fly out of Lu Han's mouth before he can realize what he's done.

He's met with a silent, self-satisfied smirk as Jongdae waves him goodnight and goes to bed without another word.

It takes a very long 15 minute interview the next day that is punctuated with unnecessary awkward moments of silence as Lu Han sweated his way through the interviewer's questions about their impending album release and Jongdae's occasional enthusiastic nods of approval that he breaks and turns on him the moment they're back in the safety of their dressing room.

"What was that?"

"What was what?" Jongdae inquired, clearly trying to look curious but he was enjoying Lu Han's agitation too much to pull it off. "I thought we did great. Very eloquent. Really got the point across-"

"We didn't do anything. You just sat there while I had to carry the whole interview!" Lu Han shoved off his dress coat, wondering why in the world was their dressing room so damn hot. God, he was sweating more than Minseok ever did, even after a full concert.

"You might have tried to carry the interview on your own, but it was a respectable attempt at best."

"Jongdae." He took a deep breath, tried to calm himself, tried not to freak the fuck out. "That was not okay. That was unfair and-"

"Well, you didn't want me talking and you know me, hyung, I just want to see you be happy."

"Bullshit. I'm sweating through my clothes and you are enjoying my misery."

"A little bit." Jongdae assented, quirking his head to assess his current harried condition. "Just say the magic words, hyung and you'll never have to be an embarrassing sweaty mass on TV again."

Lu Han glared at him; this perhaps could have been a moment of clarity for him, maybe a nudge in the right direction, towards improving his clear lack of talking skills when facing a camera but Lu Han just wanted to take a cold shower and make sure that no one he knew ever saw the taping of today's interview once it was eventually aired. Like he was going to have to have a serious talk with their manager about threatening a few PD's into intimidation so this interview never, ever sees the light of day. "Fine, okay? Talk. Talk all the bullshit you want. I don't care, as long as you don't shut up."

Jongdae smiled sweetly, his glee written clear as day across his face. "If you really want me to-"

"Yes. Yes, I honestly, really do."

It's less than a year later, he's facing dozens of flashing camera's and shouting reporter's by himself, words flowing with practice ease out of his mouth, almost as if he was born to do this. Almost as if he hasn't spent the last few months rehearsing every word that comes out of his, repeating it over and over again until it come fluidly and has filled the overwhelming silence that's left in his life.
Bluebluedreaming on November 6th, 2014 12:07 am (UTC)
The end is so poignant and sad: the overwhelming silence that's left in his life."
Jongdae and Lu Han are so real, so flawed, so perfectly imperfect, and you wrote them to life.